The Couple that works out together...stays together

You know, I've been training people for the past 15 years and the thing I've realized is that when it comes to couples and exercise, the couples that share fitness as a passion and/or workout together tend to be the happiest. Why is this? Well for starters you're both taking an interest in each others health. The other big thing is that watching or just knowing that your spouse is working out is well.....attractive...dare I say sexy. I'm a very solitary person by nature, but I love working out with Nicole. Now does she want to be a Thai boxer. Hell no! Does she want to do a cage fight? Definitely not. She's a trained ballet dancer. I just love it. Our strengths are different. Our goals are different. But, she is very fit. Very balanced and very strong( and not just strong for a girl). What I find attractive about all this is that we share a passion for keeping our bodies healthy. Once a week she does ballet classes by herself, and I roll and or spar with people several times a week. What I look forward to , is our workouts together. When we took a vacation together this past summer we worked out everyday. I never thought I'd say this , but my girlfriend is my favorite workout partner.

As I've looked around this past week I've watched couple come in to the gym together. Some share a trainer, some have different trainers. Some just workout on their own. It has become so apparent to me that the couples that seem the happiest both workout . Date nights are great, but what about scheduling some workout time together. Release some of those endorphins. Get rid of some of that stress. Nicole and I are running a half marathon this year. I hate running. I've already run a half marathon. It's horrible. The thought of running it with Nicole makes it not just bearable....but an adventure. I know .....I've gotten sappy. ......Wait I'm still tough. I'm a hard ass....who am I trying to kid? I'm whipped. In the meantime try this:

squat and press 5 reps(10lb weights)

scissor jumps 5 reps (10lb weights)

front should raise 5 reps(10lb weights)

push ups 5 reps

mountain climbers 5 reps

v-ups 5 reps

do this circuit 4 times through. no break. increase by 5 reps each time through.....good luck!

But I have a Certification!

Certifications are like flies these days. There allways seems to be one flying around. It amazes me how many people think that a certification makes you an expert on something. So think about this. Most certifications cost us about 100-300 dollars and we sit in a class for 2-3 days at most. DOes this make you and expert? Hell No! I've seen women who never had children explain they are experts in pre and post natal fitness because they have a certification. I 've seen a spin instructor that has never competed in a race say he is a certified competition instructor. I've seen people that have never lifted a weight say they have a dumbell certification. Insane. So what should you look for instead of a certification?.......hmmm.........How about experience. You can train a woman pre and post natal? Have you had a baby? How many women have you trained through pregnancy? Dumbell certification? Can you properly lift a 30lb dumbell above your head? Kettlebells? Is this all you do? DO you think you're a physical therapist or have you been to school and have a liscence to practice? I see this every day. It's a pet peve of mine in the fitness industry. We certify everything . Unfortunately experience is the key here. Most of us who have been training at least 10 years don't need a certification to teach us how to use a kettlebell or TRX.
A "good" personal trainer will have experience in not only training themselves(you'd be surprised how many don't) but also training different groups of people from all walks of society. I watched one of our"kettlebell" instructors have a 58 year old man with a history of back and knee injuries start swinging a 20 pound kettlebell. Seriously?!?! But she had a certification. Unfortunately she lacked a certification in common sense.
Fitness isn't rocket science. I will say this. Look for experience more than anything. On a side note , if you're under the age of 30 ,you're not an expert on anything. Just sayin.

The Cross Fit phase

So several people have asked me why I am not the biggest fan of Crossfit. Well, here it goes. Cross Fit much like Taebo and Kravmaga have made a name for themselves based on a "hollywood" push. Off of that they manufactured their own facility and then put out their own certification process. So what's wrong with that? Capitalism at it's best right? First some "real" history on Crossfit. Crossfit is the loose translation of the Russian based gym. It was started by former Russian power lifters and gymnasts to give their off season athletes a facility in which they could maintain their bodies strength while not competing. It worked. They key word here is off season. Like anything else The originators off crossfit realized that they would have to periodically give their athletes different workouts to maintain their flexibility and keep their bodies from getting injured. Sound familiar? At the time Hammer strength and Nautilus were making these new state of the art machines, crossfit didn't have the money to manufacture let alone buy anything. So they got ropes, sandbags,used tires,kettlebells,bars,benches and pull up bars. They incorporated a great deal of power lifting moves into their movements in conjunction with kettlebell movements to build dynamic and explosive strength. Nothing new, just on a much smaller scale. The first crossfit in the US was introduced in Seatle(not California) .They started with firemen, a small group of local powerlifters, and a military presence as it's main focus. One of it's early patrons was a man named Jim Jones. Jim jones(founder of Gym Jones) was tasked with getting the actors in 300 into shape for the movie. While using several of the Crossfit exercises , Jim also encorporated sprinting and stretching to keep the actors from getting injured. When the movie 300 came out Jim Jones took credit for the actors and Crossfit took credit for Jim Jones. Interestingly enough Jim Jones is in no way affiliated with Crossfit nor does he support Crossfit. Why? Who knows.
So here is where Crossfit exploded . Off of the movie 300 Crossfit packaged their name, franchised it, and created a certification process. What exactly are they packaging? Kettlebells? They've been around for 100's of years. Bench pressing? Box jumps? Plyometrics?Ropes? Tires? Sledgehammers?Did anyone see the first Rocky? Oooh maybe it's the whole "circuit" aspect of it? Well years ago circuit training was the wave of the future. Except they were done with machines. Going from machine to machine for several reps or time until the entire body was worked. These "circuit " classes were deemed too easy for the serious gym patrons and soon they faded away. In reality it's all the same thing. A press is a press. A jump is a jump, and a swing is a swing. Full body workouts were not invented by Crossfit.
So, save yourself the money. Buy a kettlebell from Target and do some jumps, pushups and pullups for free. Most gyms these days have kettlebells , plyoboxes,pullup bars, and bench presses.
Be wary of any fitness craze that suggest "this is the only way" to workout.

The Other Side

I remember the day I got the news I had been diagnosed with Cancer. It was surreal. I got in my car and sat for a minute or two. Why me? Was this karma for all the things I'd done wrong in my life? I felt very alone. I took a deep breath and drove home. I made a list of all the things I needed to do. I started writing a journal for Tommy. This was my "just in case I die" journal. Nearly 9 months later I sat in front of my oncologist again as she gave me the news that the cancer in my body had metastasized to my stomach and intestines. I had now been upgraded to stage 3. This time was a little different. I had recently broken up with my fiance and had discovered that much of our relationship was an illusion. I was at an emotional crossroads of sorts. My body was being torn apart and my personal life was a wreck. I felt so much guilt. As the years have passed I've realized how much I want a family. I was orphaned as a baby and later adopted. My childhood was abusive to say the least so I've always longed to have a family that I knew would never leave me and I in turn would never leave. My divorce from Tommy's mom left a large hole. As I sat there being told about the spread of the cancer in my body and the chemo treatments that were to come , I had this horrible thought. I was going to die and in turn abandon my son the way I was abandoned. While I put on a brave face, I slowly slipped into a depression. I was angered and hurt over the loss of my relationship. I had been lied to and led down a path that was very one sided. As I settled in to my once a month chemo treatments I came to an inner peace. I was going to fight as hard as I could. I was going to workout as hard as I could and strengthen my body as much as possible in spite of what the chemo was doing. I pushed every day. Probably a little harder than I should have. More than once I've been found by the side of the road struggling to get back to the gym after a poorly planned out run. I gained a great deal of clarity during the workouts. I closed the door on part of my life and opened my heart to what I felt was my true purpose all along. Beating cancer and being the best father I could. Strangely enough , something very funny happened. Time and Life threw me a line. I had lunch with a close friend who made a very insightful observation. "Tom, Have you ever considered dating a single mom? A single mom will get you. A single mom will appreciate the time you spend with your son. A single mom will view your willingness to provide for you ex wife as a positive. A single mom will look at you with maturity." Two days later I met Nicole. We had both spent enough time in nonproductive relationships and were certain of what "we didn't want" in lour lives. She had 2 beautiful children. I've heard the Phrase"I just knew" before and to be quite honest, I've never bought it. Silliness I thought. But, as I sat across from Nicole I just knew. It's an earth moving feeling. I felt as though I had just been punched in the gut. At the same time I felt as though I had just been given a huge breath of air. It was almost as though the world got a great deal brighter.
So here I am on the other side of a very tough year. I'm stronger. I'm so much happier. So much more full of life. I'm invigorated. I'm inspired. I'm more than a little .....energized. So here's a thought. If you could join a the best fitness facility in your town for the bargain price of 1000.00 a month would you do it? Probably not right. What if you got 50.00 off your monthly dues every time you came in. So if you came in 20 times in a month your membership was free. Now ....would you do it? Just a thought. Stay strong. Stay fit. Burn more calories than you take in. Crossfit is just a fad(don't buy into it), Yes pilates works, don't go to yoga class...stretch at home for free, group fitness is the wave of the future, of course Clemens did steroids, The NFL team owners make so much more money than the players, MMA fighters are the best physically conditioned athletes in the world, fat free doesn't mean calorie free, conceive believe and achieve, and .......don't just survive...thrive.

It is so interesting to me how much kids can pick up. This passed year has been challenging year at best. I've been told I have cancer. I've been told I have diabetes. I have been told that a friend of mine has passed away after enduring a bout of throat cancer. While I consider myself very emotional person, I tried to face all of these with little emotion. If I admitted it to myself I was somehow losing the fight.
Well last week my son was having problems with his spelling words. He was getting a frustrated and he was so worried about not doing well. "I'm just never going to get this right." he said. All at once my childhood flashed before my eyes. I hated school growing up. Not because of the kids, because of the pressure my parents put on me. Lets put it this way, I didn't get a ton of "positive support". So faced with my little man at age 37 I took a whole different approach. "believe in yourself." "Be positive." "This is just a spelling test. I know you can do it." I kept repeating these words and he mentally came around.
So yesterday sitting at home, I was thinking about the challenges of the upcomming year. The list of goals that I wanted to accomplish and all at once it seemed an unattainable . I started feeling defeated. I want to add an extra bootcamp, write a book, film a video, take a few trips, and I want to fight one more time. I had these things written down as I was sitting on the couch planning my strategy. Tommy cam over sat doiwn next to me and asked me what was wrong. I told him I just had "too many things to do". I didn't know if I could do them all. "believe in yourself dad. Be positive." Wow. I'm not gonna lie , I cried a little bit.
It was the kick in the shorts I needed. I tell people all day to focus on the horizon not the miles of ocean they have to cross to get to it. I'm starting a new chapter in my life these days. I am living much healthier. So here is my tip . Feed your soul positivity. Get rid of anything negative. At the same time feed your body clean niutrition. It will work wonders for you. Every moring I have the following shake. I cut pieces of brocolli,bell peppers,sweet potato,squash,blue berries, and carrots, freeze them and than blend them with carrot juice and whey protein. Not bad. Ok , it is not a vanilla milk shake but I know my body is using everything in there. Give it a shot. Trust me.