The Other Side

I remember the day I got the news I had been diagnosed with Cancer. It was surreal. I got in my car and sat for a minute or two. Why me? Was this karma for all the things I'd done wrong in my life? I felt very alone. I took a deep breath and drove home. I made a list of all the things I needed to do. I started writing a journal for Tommy. This was my "just in case I die" journal. Nearly 9 months later I sat in front of my oncologist again as she gave me the news that the cancer in my body had metastasized to my stomach and intestines. I had now been upgraded to stage 3. This time was a little different. I had recently broken up with my fiance and had discovered that much of our relationship was an illusion. I was at an emotional crossroads of sorts. My body was being torn apart and my personal life was a wreck. I felt so much guilt. As the years have passed I've realized how much I want a family. I was orphaned as a baby and later adopted. My childhood was abusive to say the least so I've always longed to have a family that I knew would never leave me and I in turn would never leave. My divorce from Tommy's mom left a large hole. As I sat there being told about the spread of the cancer in my body and the chemo treatments that were to come , I had this horrible thought. I was going to die and in turn abandon my son the way I was abandoned. While I put on a brave face, I slowly slipped into a depression. I was angered and hurt over the loss of my relationship. I had been lied to and led down a path that was very one sided. As I settled in to my once a month chemo treatments I came to an inner peace. I was going to fight as hard as I could. I was going to workout as hard as I could and strengthen my body as much as possible in spite of what the chemo was doing. I pushed every day. Probably a little harder than I should have. More than once I've been found by the side of the road struggling to get back to the gym after a poorly planned out run. I gained a great deal of clarity during the workouts. I closed the door on part of my life and opened my heart to what I felt was my true purpose all along. Beating cancer and being the best father I could. Strangely enough , something very funny happened. Time and Life threw me a line. I had lunch with a close friend who made a very insightful observation. "Tom, Have you ever considered dating a single mom? A single mom will get you. A single mom will appreciate the time you spend with your son. A single mom will view your willingness to provide for you ex wife as a positive. A single mom will look at you with maturity." Two days later I met Nicole. We had both spent enough time in nonproductive relationships and were certain of what "we didn't want" in lour lives. She had 2 beautiful children. I've heard the Phrase"I just knew" before and to be quite honest, I've never bought it. Silliness I thought. But, as I sat across from Nicole I just knew. It's an earth moving feeling. I felt as though I had just been punched in the gut. At the same time I felt as though I had just been given a huge breath of air. It was almost as though the world got a great deal brighter.
So here I am on the other side of a very tough year. I'm stronger. I'm so much happier. So much more full of life. I'm invigorated. I'm inspired. I'm more than a little .....energized. So here's a thought. If you could join a the best fitness facility in your town for the bargain price of 1000.00 a month would you do it? Probably not right. What if you got 50.00 off your monthly dues every time you came in. So if you came in 20 times in a month your membership was free. Now ....would you do it? Just a thought. Stay strong. Stay fit. Burn more calories than you take in. Crossfit is just a fad(don't buy into it), Yes pilates works, don't go to yoga class...stretch at home for free, group fitness is the wave of the future, of course Clemens did steroids, The NFL team owners make so much more money than the players, MMA fighters are the best physically conditioned athletes in the world, fat free doesn't mean calorie free, conceive believe and achieve, and .......don't just survive...thrive.

It is so interesting to me how much kids can pick up. This passed year has been challenging year at best. I've been told I have cancer. I've been told I have diabetes. I have been told that a friend of mine has passed away after enduring a bout of throat cancer. While I consider myself very emotional person, I tried to face all of these with little emotion. If I admitted it to myself I was somehow losing the fight.
Well last week my son was having problems with his spelling words. He was getting a frustrated and he was so worried about not doing well. "I'm just never going to get this right." he said. All at once my childhood flashed before my eyes. I hated school growing up. Not because of the kids, because of the pressure my parents put on me. Lets put it this way, I didn't get a ton of "positive support". So faced with my little man at age 37 I took a whole different approach. "believe in yourself." "Be positive." "This is just a spelling test. I know you can do it." I kept repeating these words and he mentally came around.
So yesterday sitting at home, I was thinking about the challenges of the upcomming year. The list of goals that I wanted to accomplish and all at once it seemed an unattainable . I started feeling defeated. I want to add an extra bootcamp, write a book, film a video, take a few trips, and I want to fight one more time. I had these things written down as I was sitting on the couch planning my strategy. Tommy cam over sat doiwn next to me and asked me what was wrong. I told him I just had "too many things to do". I didn't know if I could do them all. "believe in yourself dad. Be positive." Wow. I'm not gonna lie , I cried a little bit.
It was the kick in the shorts I needed. I tell people all day to focus on the horizon not the miles of ocean they have to cross to get to it. I'm starting a new chapter in my life these days. I am living much healthier. So here is my tip . Feed your soul positivity. Get rid of anything negative. At the same time feed your body clean niutrition. It will work wonders for you. Every moring I have the following shake. I cut pieces of brocolli,bell peppers,sweet potato,squash,blue berries, and carrots, freeze them and than blend them with carrot juice and whey protein. Not bad. Ok , it is not a vanilla milk shake but I know my body is using everything in there. Give it a shot. Trust me.

Well, it has been a while since I posted a blog. So here it goes. In the months that have passed I have ........found out that I had stage 1 colon cancer, found out that I was diabetic, started a cancer cleanse diet, had a minor surgery, gone back to the doctor and found out my protein levels are still elevated, told that I have swelling in my brain, reduced the swelling, scheduled an exploritive surgery to look for stomach cancer, and had a good friend pass away from throat cancer, .........but hey I'm still kicking.

So what has all this taught me? Life is short. Life is what you make of it. Love the ones your with. Appreciate and cherish what you have , don't keep complaining about what you don't have.

We are heading into the holliday season. As we all know this means one important thing................presents!!!!! No, actually I was thinking of moderation. Have one less glass of wine, one less piece of pie, and one less scoop of stuffing. And try and do something active that involves the family.....The Turkey Trot for example. Maybe a pick up game of "touch" football. Two years ago while spending the hollidays with Jenns family , we all went in the front yard and played football. We were all dressed with our church clothes still on. Jenn looked amazing in a skirt, I must say.Anyway a thought did come to me as I was being clotheslined by my beautifull ,skirt wearing fiance on the way to the goal line, "I'm sure glad I'm in shape". It makes doing things like this a great deal more fun.

So as you workout and deny yourself that one extra piece of pie, don't think about fitting into your clothes, think about how much more fun it will make your life. It simply gives you more options. We can all sit on the couch with the best of them right? However, only the very few can go out and run a 5k. Why is that? It's time to set the bar higher. Expect more from you body. Put in the work , indulge in moderation, and you will see and feel the difference.

As for me ....cancer sucks. It realy pisses me off. So I'm going to practice my zig zag running so my lunatic fiance doesn't clothesline me in two weeks. I'm also going to watch my diet, workout hard, hug and kiss my son a little more (he hates it), and push to thrive in this world not just survive. I love you guys. We are running the Toys R Us hill tomorrow... BRING IT!!!!!!

I remember the first time I got put through a circuit workout. I was at Maurice Smiths kickboxing gym back in 1998. I had worked myself up to a level that I was allowed to train with the other high level pro fighters. I had lifted weights and regularly ran 2-3 miles a day, so I felt I was ready for the workouts. Well, after about 10 minutes I was staring at the bottom of a trash can while I puked my guts out.While not everyone realy wants,or needs to train like this I found myself in the following years tweaking my normally stale workouts by adding high level cardio routines to weight routines and vice versa.

Two years ago while I was at Extreme Couture in vegas, Tyson Griffin(UFC fighter) asked me if I wanted to do cardio with him. I stupidly said sure. "go grab a pair of 20's." he said "and meet me by the treadmills". What the hell had I gotten myself into?

"Set your treadmill to a 7 incline and 7.0 speed" Seriously!? "a minute and a half on the treadmill and then jump off and grab the dumbells and do a minute and a half of shoulder press,curls,upright rows,squat thrusts,squat and press, and reverse flies. 18 minutes total. You up?" Unbelievably I said yes. What followed is kind of hazy.

I've used this workout since to torture myself as well as my clients. I've also tweaked the concept a little. Adam is always up for silly stuff like this. So think about this:

10 high knees

10 pullups

10 high knees

10 staggered pushups

10 high knees

10 curls

10 high knees

10 scissor jumps

10 high knees

10 mountain climbers

Seriously!? Oh hell yeah

"So what is the best exercise for......legs? "Squats. "What about chest? "Pushups. "What about biceps? "Curls." Triceps? "Dips." And back?" Pullups.

" But I can't do pullups. "I don't know what to tell you.

And so goes the conversation I have at least once a month. We are all looking for that perfect exercise. The one that stands above all the others. The one that we can point to and use as a benchmark for our strength. It still amazes me how many people can't do a pullup. I love pullups. It's one of those exercises you can't fake or cheat. You either go up or you don't. Simple. When I joined the Navy, I had this dream of being a Navy Seal. Seriously, don't laugh. When I enlisted I weighed 201 lbs. I could barely run a half mile let alone do the 8 required pullups. Pullups became my mission in life. I would learn how to do pullups. Books would be written about my pullup abilities. People would travel from miles around to watch me do pullups. Ok maybe I've gotten ahead of myself.

So now at the age of 36 , nearly13 years after the Navy, I teach people how to do pullups.(amongst other things)

It was ironic that a young man came in to see me a few months ago with the same dreams I had at his age. Wade wanted to become a Navy Seal. "You don't say." I told him. Wade is a clean-cut nicely manicured young man, who looked more like a boy scout than a Special Warfare operative. He was.......too nice. So in my typical "Evil Tom" fashion I decided to see what this kid could do. Well, I must say, Wade has become a beast. I still think he is too nice, but he can probably do about 30 pullups nonstop.

So I gave him this drill.

1 regular pullup, transition to a close grip pullup, and then transition to a chin up. Three times through no break. It's miserable. Give it a shot.

I love Misery

I started Martial Arts when I was 5 years old. Ever since then I've been a closet martial arts geek. My fiance will tell there is no closet. I am a full out in the open martial arts geek. I started with Kenpo Karate, then went to Tae Kwon Do. When I first heard of the UFC in 1995 I put in an application. God was watching and I didn't get in. Something about not being big enough.Go figure.

I entered my first pro bare knuckle karate tournament in 1996. I then had my first Thai Boxing match in Canada in 1997. Ever since then I have been either competing or teaching MMA or Thai Kickboxing. They truly are two of the most exhausting sports you can compete in. A few years ago Lance Armstrong was working out at our gym. He joking looked at me after one of my sparring sessions and asked"When can I get you on a bike?" I smiled and said "the day I get you on the mat." I've had triathletes almost pass out after being on the mat for 2 minutes. At the same time, I don't even want to think about sitting on a bike for more than 30 minutes. To each his own I guess

I love training. As much as I love teaching, it's fun to mix it up with people who are a great deal better than you. Nick Gonzales, my sparring partner and good friend of 7 years(not to mention Renegades and XFC champion) has always been there when I need to get my butt kicked. If I can make it through a full round without getting tapped , I'm doin well. Here I made it out with maybe 1 second to spare.

I remember when I first started training, one of the questions I always encountered from women was "if I lift weights will I get big? I dont want to get big." My response was always then and is now.

To put on mass you have to eat a certain way and lift a certain way. Weights by themselves wont put on mass.

That being said I have noticed the new craze which is Crossfit. I have always said that Crossfit is a gym not a style of working out. They advocate circuit training which has been around for years. Kettlebells, powerlifting, plyometrics, and bodyweight exercises have been around forever. Nothing new here.

So this weekend I was at "The Crossfit Games" in Austin. I'm a people watcher by habit, so I sat and watched. I noticed a few things. First off the womens division was huge. And I mean in size. These girls looked like powerlifters. And no wonder, they were performing powerlifting movements. Now the workout in itself was impressive. thrusters, single arm kettlebell cleans,double under jump ropes,kettlebell swings, and powerlifting clean and press. Impressive. However, not a ton of variety.I know the day before encorporated concept 2 rowers, hand standpushups, pullups etc.

Crossfit advocates pushing maximal weight, for max reps, for time limits. I agree that this can get you much stronger, and faster. However, is this the only way? Hmmmmm. The answer is no. In fact, is kind of a restrictive way at best. What I have noticed is that the workouts that Crossfit advocate can be hard on those with prior injuries, older, and women. I havent seen any pregnant crossfitters yet. I havent seen any 60 year old crossfitters yet. Are they out there? Im sure they are. However as an experienced, educated personal trainer. I would never, ever advise a pregnant, former injured, older than 45 or younger than 15 client to perform powercleans, handstandpushups, or thrusters to get more fit. That's just me.

So in closing be carefull what you choose to follow. It's not the only option. Just a popular one right now. Kind of like Tae Bo.